He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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