would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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