i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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