dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Found your dick twin last night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
