I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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