Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize