My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize