I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
