apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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