My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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