Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
