i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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