im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
