My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
