On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
