you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize