Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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