Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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