You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
