Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so explain again why im purple
no
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
