I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
