That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
