I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
