Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
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