Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
