Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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