my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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