who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
