This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
