its not stalking. its research.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
