better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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