Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
