Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize