I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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