Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
