Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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