you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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