Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
