I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
