I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
