Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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