My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
