apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
