I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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