At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
