so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
