No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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