i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
