You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
