Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
