The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
