i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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