He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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