I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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