I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
