i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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