You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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