It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
