You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
