Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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