His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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