no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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