I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
