why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize