and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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