Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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