I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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